This Kiss
by Lost in the Forest
Summary: "Well, it was just a kiss. A bad kiss." says Hermione. What? A kiss with Harry Potter, lacking something? An amusing little ficlet about a kiss gone wrong. Doesn't it just scream 'readme' ^_^


*sigh* the more of these I write, the more tiresome the disclaimer becomes ^_^;;  
  
Disclaimer: JK Rowling Owns All. Okay, well, not all. God's probably the only one who owns all, whoever or whatever he/she/it is ^_^;; Okay, well, JK Rowling owns all in the Harry Potter universe. She's the Goddess of Harry Potter. Harry Potter's Goddess, if you will. I wonder if any of the characters said 'Thank God!' would she say you're welcome?  
  
  
  
This Kiss  
  
  
  
It's the way you love me  
  
It's a feeling like this-  
  
It's centrifugal motion  
  
It's perpetual bliss.  
  
It's that pivotal moment  
  
It's Impossible  
  
This Kiss, This Kiss  
  
(Unstoppable)  
  
This Kiss, This Kiss  
  
-'This Kiss'- Faith Hill  
  
  
  
Hermione took a deep, steadying breath and prepared for a maelstrom of questions from the girls in the Gryffindor common room. She knew someone had to have seen her and Harry kissing outside, and rumors in Hogwarts travel faster than Snape through detentions, or Trelawney through death omens, or Dumbledore through. something Dumbledore-y.  
  
Finally primed for interrogation, she whispered the password to the Fat Lady, who winked an acknowledgement of her activities at her and swung open.  
  
"So, how was it?"  
  
"Did he slip you the tongue?"  
  
"Did you faint? I heard you fainted!" Lavender Brown, Ginny Weasley, and Parvati Patil were all gathered around the Gryffindor door in a circle, like a camp gathered around a fire to tell stories, much to Hermione's brief amusement. She didn't want to be the camp counselor, telling them tales of horror over roasted marshmallows.  
  
She looked down at the anxious faces awaiting a review of the kiss the infamous Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, had given her.  
  
Then she took much pleasure in walking away from all of these faces without a word. From the sound of clothes rustling behind her, she knew that they were following her into the girl's dormitory.  
  
"Well, you have to tell us something. It's Harry Potter! He's the Boy Who Lived, for heaven sakes!" Lavender pleaded.  
  
"You know, I always thought he should be called the Boy Who Lives," Hermione said in a conversational tone. "I mean, he lived is past tense, but he's still living, so shouldn't it be present tense?"  
  
"You know, I think you're right." Parvati said thoughtfully.  
  
"Oh, don't try to change the subject! What was it like? As far as we know, he's never kissed anyone else, ever!"  
  
"And we would know if he did." Ginny added.  
  
"Of all people, I thought you would be upset about this," she scolded Ginny. "You've only liked for how many years?" Ginny shrugged and smiled.  
  
"What can I say? Curiosity has gotten the better of me."  
  
"Well? Was it good? Did you melt into a puddle of indescribable bliss?" Parvati said, batting her eyes wildly at Hermione.  
  
"Not. exactly." The three other girls exchanged looks of confusion and suspicion as Hermione stripped off her slightly snow-dampened robe and boots.  
  
"What do you mean, 'not exactly'? It was good, wasn't it?" Lavender said suspiciously. Hermione paused and wondered how to word her description.  
  
"It was. well, it was nice, I suppose."  
  
"Nice?" Ginny inquired.  
  
"Alright, it sucked! He sucked, literally, which might explain why that kiss was so bad!" The girls rocked back in shock.  
  
"Harry Potter is a bad kisser?" Ginny said in disbelief.  
  
"Oh, he should be renamed 'the Boy Who Kisses like a Camel'."  
  
"Well, what exactly was so bad about it? He's your crush and your best friend! It was too romantic to be bad!" Parvati asked.  
  
"Well, it's so hard to explain." The girls had gathered around her in a semi-circle again. Shaking the urge to offer them S'mores, she continued. "I mean, it was nice because it was Harry, you know? When you first kiss a guy you've loved for. well, forever, it's suppose to be wonderful, right? Time pauses just for you! Your heart stops beating and your breath catches in your throat. But this time. well, it was just a kiss. A bad kiss." The girls waited for elaboration. Hermione sighed and knew she wouldn't get out of it that easily.  
  
"He used his teeth."  
  
"What?!" The three said together.  
  
"He French kissed me using his teeth."  
  
"How. how is that even possible?" asked Lavender. All four of the girls paused to comprehend this. Hermione stopped immediately, remembering that she knew what it felt like and was in no hurry to repeat the experience.  
  
"Oh my," was all Ginny could think to say.  
  
"Yeah." Hermione nodded. "Yeah." Lavender got up and stretched, and slowly started towards the door.  
  
"Well, I've got to go. finish a Potions assignment."  
  
"Yeah, I've got. to work with her!" Parvati stood up and followed Parvati.  
  
"Hey. hey wait!" Hermione demanded.  
  
"I promised to help. er. help Harry learn to kiss better." Hermione looked incredulously at her. "Or some other, better excuse to leave." All three girls escaped out the door. Hermione stuck her head out the door and yelled after them;  
  
"PROMISE YOU WON'T TELL ANYONE!" Ah, but they were already gone.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: *sigh* alright, that ending feels like a cop-out -_- ah well, I might re-write it later.  
  
This is kind-a like an alternate reality compared to my other ficlet 'Give Me Your Hand' ^_^ But, for once in my life I'm able to write a comedy and I'm going to take advantage of this like an Enron executive takes advantage of. well, you know ^.-  
  
Anyway, this ficlet is dedicated to Polly who once told me, and I quote, "He's a really good kisser. He doesn't use his teeth too much, you know? Haven't you ever kissed a guy where he used his teeth?"  
  
I have not, Polly, but I'll be sure to mark the next time that I do. (I wonder what guy she kissed that used his teeth? Bleh. x.x)  
  
Oh, yeah, here's an extra little skit for your enjoyment ^____^  
  
Ficlet: Review me, baby! Oh, you know you want to! I'm just so dead sexy *licks its lips*  
  
Lost: Ew! That's not sexy!  
  
Ficlet: Oh, yes it is. I'm 18 and blonde ^.- I'm here with my blonde ficlet friends, and we've all been very, very bad.  
  
Lost: Ew, alright, alright, cut it out! I won't sink to this level!  
  
Ficlet: Not even for reviews?  
  
Lost: .  
  
Ficlet: XD Just click the link in the bottom left corner. ^.- we'll be waiting. 


End file.
